Sir DaddyDaun & slavegirl j

Sir DaddyDaun began Her leather journey in the early 90’s when She followed Her interest in service. Since then She has served the Her communities as a presenter, Den Daddy, panelist, mentor, tally Master, stage manager, volunteer, judge, keynote speaker, board member, titleholder and Prince XXXVIII of the Imperial Sovereign Rose Court. slavegirl j was raised in the Leather community by queer, kinky, POC parents which cultivated a deep connection to service. she has been on staff for FLAME Conference, SPLF, MsC WORLDWIDE, BUTCH Voices and serves as the Assistant Regional Rep Director for MAsT International. Together T/they serve as Northwest Master/slave 2016, International Master/slave 2017/2021, and are staff members for Northwest Leather Celebration. When not presenting or working, T/they can be found enjoying T/their home in Colorado with T/their cat Spirit and dog Tator Tot.

Interview: Sir DaddyDaun

What forms of service do you find particularly meaningful to receive?

It has taken Me several years just to get used to receiving service in general. When someone sees I might be struggling with something physical, like getting up from a low chair or carrying a full beverage cup for Me, offering before I've even asked is deeply meaningful. It feels like they see the struggle and want to help ease that for Me, as an act of caring.

What are some challenges you experience in receiving service?

For Me, it comes down to setting that ego aside. I have always been the strong, capable one in service to my community and relationships. But now I'm in a position of NEEDING service more often than being able to give. It's so hard to accept and come to grips with, no matter how much My slave loves Me. Asking for service or providing space for someone to serve is different than needing that service.

Describe your earliest experience with giving or receiving service.

I think I was 3 and a half or 4 when my mom had mononucleosis. So I was just a little kid and we had my brother Kenny who was only a year old at the time. My mother was put on bed rest and My father still had to work. I remember an alarm going off at 4:30pm which was for Me to make dinner. Dad had put out all the things I needed before leaving for work, I had a step stool, and there were Sharpie marks for temperatures on the oven that I wasn't allowed to go past. There's even a picture of Me somewhere with Kenny's head under My arm and the laundry basket being dragged behind Me. At the time, it felt good to serve the whole house in that way.

Interview: slavegirl j

Do you feel you have grown from service?

Absolutely. Sir has volun-told me to do things i never dreamed of. For instance, i was President of the HardPink Sisterhood for awhile. Before that time, i had a seriously challenging time connecting with femme-identified folks. It would take quite some time to delve into why that is-but the point is, i found it hard. Then the opportunity came up when the Founder needed to take a break to focus on her life and Sir said, "you will apply." That time in leadership taught me quite a lot but the main takeaway was the power of feminine support. Now all of the closest people in my life are female-identified and i couldn't imagine life without that softness, encouragement, and comradery. Engaging in those friendships and truly putting in the work to make the bonds strong has created a softness and compassion in me that i refused to consider before.

What motivates you to serve?

Living in this world is so frickin hard. If you're anything different than societal status quo (and even then, the pressure to keep being "normal" is crippling), you have proof from social media and news outlets that you don't deserve to live your life the way you're called to. And all of us are crushed under capitalism. This pressure just to live and the way service can alleviate so much of that pressure is what motivates me to serve. i do my vanilla job in a way that makes the lives of my coworkers easier. When out in the world, i engage with people in the most gentle way i can. While serving my Master and this community, i want it to be the most comforting and easy going interaction. By just watching, actively listening, and jumping in when i have the energy, i can help take that overwhelming pressure off the shoulders of those around me. Making this world a softer place to exist motivates me to serve.

What type of service is your favorite to give?

i don't know how to describe this service. Maybe companion service is the best description. With Sir, that means keeping a tidy and welcoming home, joining Her on whatever adventure She thinks of, engaging my mind so I can bring Her interesting conversations and facts, and noting new places W/we can explore together. For friends, it means knowing the thing they need while out in the world so they don't feel out of place or overwhelmed. This friend doesn't like ordering at a drive-in window because it gives her anxiety, so i make sure to choose places we can order online. That friend has a medical procedure coming up so i put it on my calendar to remind myself to send love. All of us are struggling through something so i do what i can to make notes on what is helpful for each of them to keep moving through the challenges of daily life.

Do you have any role models for service?

Absolutely anyone that puts in the blood, sweat and tears to produce anything in this community. The art of bringing people together in a space that's as safe as you can make it while dodging drama, ridiculous requests, last minute cancellations, not enough help, (and the list goes on) is a hero in my book. Producing is the one thing still left on my hard no list!