slave joy

slave joy, (she/her) embraces her Mi’kmaq First Nations heritage with her spiritual path of slavery in a 2-fold manner of intentional service. The first fold of her spiritual service path is to her Master and his Household for their highest good. The 2nd fold is service to the betterment of the earth and her children. She is honored to serve her Master, be a licensed massage therapist, a certified life coach, a small business entrepreneur, and support over 7 various kink and BDSM community organizations embodying the spiritual practice of her soul and culture by caring for others through service.

Interview

Why is service important to you?

Service is important to me because it is a place beyond words of truly showing up for others. Over a human lifetime many people say many things in our lives but their actions don’t always match their words. As human beings this can lead to wounds in our spirits, mental health struggles, or trust being hard to give to others. When we choose to be of service and fill in where we are needing we are stepping beyond words and physically saying here I am, showing up, loving, supporting, filling a need, giving care, whatever the moment requires, I am here for you. By giving service it is my humble opinion that we can create healing in our lives, others lives and the world around us. For indigenous peoples all around the world service is healing energy medicine. I can’t think of anything more sacredly powerful than showing up and adding in where we are needed.

As an indigenous person one of the deepest principles I live by is what part of the whole am I. Being raised in American culture, the media can often highlight a self centered focus of “what’s in it for me?” For me being of service means adding my gifts and talents to the collective, and asking “what part of the whole I am”. It is amazing when I honor myself, add my gifts and talents, and step outside of myself how worry, fear, or self doubt fall away as I connect to others as a needed part of the bigger picture of life.

Where do you find joy in service?

One of my deepest joys in having the honor of giving my Master, friends, and communities service is to truly see all the people around me and honor the amazingness of who they are. To deeply connect with others and connect others to each other. I love to hold sacred safe space for events, discussions, classes, gatherings, and so much more whether virtual or in person. I read a book by the previous surgeon general a few years ago where he discussed the biggest epidemic Americans were facing was actually loneliness, and that that led to many health issues. Nothing gives me more service joy, then someone saying, I felt so seen by others, I made a new friend, I learned something profound today I will always carry with me, I feel part of community, I have a place to belong. My heart is overflowing with joy when I see others easing loneliness, learning something new and finding belonging in spaces I have had the honor to create or hold.

Do you feel you have grown from service?

I have absolutely grown 150% from service. About 6 or 7 years ago I was pretty shy and got anxious about speaking in front of others. Some people would share with me that what I had to say impacted them positively. I began speaking up one time in a meeting in my local s-type group and 1 time in our MAsT meeting, each meeting as a service that maybe others could take something from what I had learned on my journey. During Covid I begin to moderate classes as a service. I got to meet many new friends across the country and world. My confidence in the difference in others lives I made grew. People expressed to me the positive impact I had and I began speaking up more and more. I wrote a few classes hoping they would be of service to others to support them learning new things about themselves. I now lead my local MAsT chapter, co-lead my semi-local other MAsT Chapter, have hosted a virtual s-type group monthly for almost 4 years , and taught classes virtually, locally, and across the country at large conferences. I worked through my shyness and anxiety from negative childhood experiences with the main goal of being of service to others by speaking up and sharing my voice. Focusing on being of service to others has helped me gain self confidence and find my public voice, with a hope of sharing indigenous wisdoms around creating safe spaces of co-creation where all peoples are celebrated. Holding space for my service vision helps me to grow in ways I never imagined.

Do you have Service Self Care?

I absolutely have service self-care! For me it is essential if I want to keep doing all the things as a service person that we do. I look at it as we are each a cup filled with energy that some is poured out when we give service. Everything is energy. If we go to the grocery store and buy an apple, the money is the energy payment that we received for the work energy we did then we put that toward the food energy of the apple into our body as energy to continue the cycle of energy exchange. Anytime we do a service we are pouring out energy of time, money, attention etc. For me as someone who spends a lot of time creating space for others whether it’s my Master, his children, or community. I have to have service self-care of time alone in silence, self reflection, etc. I have an old neck/shoulder injury that I do yoga, take a nightly bath and get massage and chiropractic for. I need that energy care for my body poured in so I can go pour it out to others!

Do you have any advice for partners who are looking to incorporate service kink play into their lives for the first time?

My advice for those looking to incorporate service kink play into their life’s for the first time is to look at what brings all the partners joy and connection? Too often I see people love a protocol, ritual or service they saw someone else do at an event or class. They get frustrated when it doesn’t go well, doesn’t work for them, or it doesn’t match well with their daily environment. What I have learned when we see other people do protocol, ritual, or service is that we are attracted to the energy connection the people are exchanging by using that vehicle, not necessarily the vehicle itself. Say for example, we see a submissive kneeling with mouth open as an ashtray for cigar play. But the slave watching has a bad knee and a jaw issue that makes kneeling and holding the mouth open impossible. The slave could sit on a lower chair or stool than the D or M type and use their clasped hands as a bowl for an Ashtray with the same connection outcome. The point is the service and connection not looking exactly like someone else. Also services don’t have to be traditional, like servicing a cup of tea, food, or domestic work. If you don't like those things, don't do them. A service is something that makes the person you are serving happy. I have had friends who play the boring parts of video games for their partner to stack up points and supplies so the partner gets to just play the fun parts. I curate lists of TV shows and movies for my Master of things he would like so he can just pick and doesn’t have to search for stuff. Find what brings you and your partners joy and connection and create a service around it!